Motherhood

I have been wanting to do this post for a while, but am just now getting to it. Since today is Mother's Day, I guess it is especially appropriate. I have realized Motherhood is hard! I have always wanted to be a mother from the time I was a little girl. I've always loved children. I babysat a lot as a teenager and even chose to become an elementary school teacher. I guess I assumed motherhood would come naturally to me. Well, after almost 13 years of being a Mom and with five kids, I think being a mother is the toughest job in the world. There are so many things that make this job hard. First of all, our kids do not come with instruction manuals or recipes to follow in order to properly care for them. And even when we find something that works for one kid, it usually doesn't work for another. There is a lot of trial and error in motherhood. I feel I am constantly making mistakes and am amazed by any small success I do have. Another one of the hardest things about motherhood is the guilt that come with it. I don't have enough time and energy to do everything I would like to do for my kids. I feel worried that I am neglecting this child. I am discouraged when I lose my patience with another. I am disappointed in myself when I don't even want to be around my kids and sometimes even lock myself in my bedroom just to be alone. I wonder am I teaching them enough, am I being a good example, am I making sure they feel loved. Am I too hard or too easy on them? Do I play with them enough? Do I let my kids watch too much TV? Am I giving them opportunities to develop their talents or am I signing them up for too many activities? Should I use my energy to clean the house or should I let it go more often? Am I controlling them too much or am I letting them make their own decisions? Also, I feel guilty because amidst all the craziness and chaos of motherhood, it is important to live in the moment and enjoy this season because little children grow up so quickly. Sometimes you just want to get through the day! Another thing that makes motherhood hard is that we tend to compare ourselves with other moms. I sometimes wonder is it terrible that I don't sew my kids Halloween costumes when another mom does. Am I terrible when I yell at my kids and another mom always seems so calm. What about the mom who always has her hair and make up done and gets her kids to school early so they can read books together in the library (I am describing a real mom who has 5 kids and she's also thin)? I guess you can tell from this post that I have been really struggling with motherhood. With Lloyd working nights and commuting almost 4 hours a day, I do feel like a single mom a lot. I wish I was better at it!

Well, I have a couple things that have helped me with my struggles. First, I saw this quote on a plaque and I try to remember it when I start comparing myself to other moms: "There is no way to be a perfect mother ... ...but a million ways to be a good one." Also, I felt like Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk at the last General Conference was an answer to my prayers and it left me in tears. Like the quote above, he reminds young mothers: "There is no perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children." He also helped me to remember how important it is for me to take my challenges and concerns to the Lord in prayer. He states: "Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, 'We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.' " He emphasizes the fact that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and successful with our families. This talk has blessed me.

Of course, a great way to deal with the stress of motherhood is to have a sense of humor about it. A lot of you have probably already seen the William Tell Overture song performed by Anita Renfroe. The link to it is below and it's fun to watch it again. It is so true and so funny!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IGoelj7l668

I think gratitude is another way to deal with the stress of motherhood. I read the poem below on Laura's blog and I saved a copy of it. I typed it up to use in Conner's scrapbook. I love how sweet it is and it reminds me of the joy of motherhood:

The Little Things...
The work undone, the beds unmade,
The floor unswept, the meal delayed,
My food is growing cold,
The laundry I have yet to fold.
“I’m hungry, Mom,” the children say,
A thousand and one times a day.
And “Mommy will you read to me?” And “Mom, why can’t I watch TV?”
And “Mommy, hold me on your knee.”
And “Quickly Mom, I have to pee!”

Then finally everything is set.
The children’s needs have all been met,
And I can really sink my teeth
Into 1`my work with great relief.
Another sound. “Oh Dear,” I sigh—
My newborn son’s plaintive cry.
Now I must sit amidst debris
And nurse this infant quietly,
And dream of who I’d rather be, Disdaining mediocrity.

But as this angel snuggles in
And I caress his silken skin
And meditate on beauty here,
This tiny hand, this perfect ear
This life, this love, this holiness
I can forget about the mess
And know with utter clarity
My life is rich as rich can be.

I wonder when I’m old and gray,
Will I look back upon today
And wish I’d been a better Mom
By getting all the housework done?
I’d much prefer a memory
Of children smiling up at me,
Of walks and hugs and moments shared
Of taking time to show I cared.

Author Unknown

I want to emphasize that I am very grateful to be a mother. I adore my five children and the joy they bring me. I think motherhood is the "toughest job you'll ever love." I am thankful for the encouragement and support I receive from my friends who are also mothers of young children. I hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day. My Mother's Day came early this year with a facial last Monday and the scrapbook get away this past weekend. My children gave me lots of homemade gifts today from a coupon book, to a card with a stick of gum and candy taped to it, and an old necklace one of my girl's doesn't want any more. I got a lot of hugs and a lot of love. No one complained when I asked them to help either. What a treat! I felt very special today. I am so very blessed!

A Tag from Laura (Resse Family)

4 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago (1998):
- had my second daughter on May 31
-going to school for my MA degree
-teaching second and third grades
-living in an apartment in San Jose

4 Things I Was Doing 5 Years Ago (2003):
-had three daughters
-was the Relief Society President at church
-was a Brownie Girl Scout leader
-turned 30

4 Things I Did Yesterday:
-returned home from a scrapbooking weekend (post about it to come)
-hugged and kissed my 16 month old
-watched Enchanted on Pay Per View
-told my husband how much I love him

4 Shows I Love to Watch:
-The Bachelor
-Jon and Kate Plus 8
-Dateline/20-20 Murder Mysteries
-Gymnastics competitions

4 Things That Make Me Really Happy:
-going on dates with my husband
-taking naps or sleeping in
-exercise
-family vacations (but not the packing part)

I challenge anyone who has a blog to share their answers too.

My Mother

On this Mother's Day I wanted to take a moment to pay tribute to my mother. I have noticed that when people are asked who their greatest hero is or who has influenced them the most, they almost always describe one of their parents. I think this is because we get to know our parents on a much more intimate level than other people in our lives. Our parents, especially our mothers give more service to us than any other person. I am so grateful for all that my mother has done for me. She has been my caregiver, my teacher, my cheerleader, my example, and my friend. I am the oldest which means I was my mom's first baby. She adores this first picture of us right after I was born. Although her labor was extremely long and I was a posterior baby, I think she was excited about becoming a mother for the first time. Because I was the oldest, my mom was able to give me a lot of attention as a young child. I remember singing in the car with my mom as we did errands around town. I remember she always dressed me in cute outfits and made sure my hair looked nice. She made a big deal out of birthdays and holidays; they were always so fun. When I became an older child, my mom would help me with my homework. She would let me have playdates and signed me up for Girl Scouts, dance, gymnastics, etc. I have always been in awe of my mom's many talents. She is a great cook. She loves to bake at Christmas time and is especially good at candy making. She loved to can and dehydrate foods. She loves to give gifts and always adds an extra touch when she does her gift wrapping. She always kept a very clean and orderly house which has somewhat rubbed off on me. My mom is a very compassionate person and loves to serve others. I recall her bringing many meals to those in need or supporting others when they were going through a rough time. My mom is a nurse and has always enjoyed caring for others. The most important thing my mom has taught me is the gospel of Jesus Christ. My mother joined the Church when she was 16 years old. She has a strong testimony and strives to keep the commandments. She is always mindful of the Savior and tries to follow His example. She also relies on the Holy Ghost to guide her daily. I am so grateful for my mom's two best friends who shared the gospel with her. I am so thankful I was raised in a home where I was taught the gospel. Now my mom is a great grandma to my kids. She takes my girls school shopping. She has them over to her home for sleepovers and day trips. Of course, birthdays and holidays are still a big deal. She listens to me and gives me encouragement. She reminds me to read the scriptures. She has been a counselor to me when I served as the Activities Chairman and Relief Society President. She sends me cards and praises me when I need it. I am so grateful for this woman and the many ways she has influenced me. Thank you, Mom. I love you!

My Baby Is Growing Up

These pictures of Conner were actually taken in February when Conner was 13 months old. This Friday he will be 16 months old. He started walking just a couple weeks ago. We thought he might never walk and worried about him crawling into nursery! Well, he finally decided crawling wasn't the only way to get around. When he first started walking he would keep his hands out in front of him and almost look like Frankenstein; it was so funny. We all love to watch him toddle around and recorded him on the video camera yesterday. He's not talking a lot yet, but he does say " Hiyeeeee" whenever Lloyd and I come home. Just two days ago, I gave him his cup and he said "Thank you." I was so surprised he knew that word and thought it was so cute. Another word he tries to say is "kitty." He loves our cat and always wants to talk to me about her. When he tries to say kitty he makes a noise like he's clearing his throat; it's pretty funny. He really like animals just like Kylie and Cameron did. He also loves to wave "bye-bye." He is a good sleeper and hardly even cries when I put him in his crib. He loves to eat anything we give him especially fruit (bananas, grapes, watermelon, peaches), PB&J sandwiches, and ice cream cones. He is a pro at going up and down the stairs; we never used a gate so he learned real fast. He loves to play cars and drive them across the carpet. He also loves balls. He is such a happy and loving baby. He recently learned how to give us kisses and loves hugging and kissing his family. Unfortunately, he has also learned how to bite and bites to defend himself. He also absolutely hates getting his diaper changed and resists it with all his force. Last week he got his first haircut; I'll post the pictures of it on another post. This little guy truly is the love of my life. His sweet smile just makes me melt. I'm trying to eat up every moment with him since he's my last baby. But I also realize he'll always be my baby and I'll always have a tender spot for him in my heart. I feel so lucky he's mine.

Family Temple Day

On April 12 our ward had a family temple day at the Oakland Temple. The adults went and did an endowment session while the children and youth went to the Visitors' Center and did other activities. Since I am in the Primary Presidency, I stayed out with the primary children. It was so sweet to see how excited they were to be at the temple. Lloyd got to go do a session and really enjoyed the spirit of the temple. It's a challenge to get to the temple when you have small children. I am grateful this day gave us a chance to go to the temple and allow other families with small children to go to. We had a ward lunch to end our day at the temple. The Primary took pictures of all the children in front of the temple. The boys wore a suit and had scriptures with them; the girls wore a wedding dress. We hope these pictures will be a reminder of their goal to go to the temple. Here are the pictures of Katelyn, Kylie, and Cameron.