Final Episodes of The Bachelor

There are very few shows I have time to watch, but The Bachelor is one I have always enjoyed. I have followed most of the seasons. I don't know really know why I like watching this show, it really is ridiculous in so many ways. The girls almost always dress so immodestly and a guy dating 25 woman at once -- it is a little much. Nonetheless, I like seeing which girls the Bachelor chooses to keep each week, I enjoy watching their fantasy dates, and I guess I am a romantic at heart because I love the proposals. I must be pretty naive to think that the shows are actually real; of all 14 seasons (11 of The Bachelor and 3 of The Bachelorette), only one couple got married and one is still together; most couples break up in less than a month after the final show. Anyway, I especially enjoyed this past season with Bachelor Brad Womack. He was nicknamed "the sexiest" Bachelor. Well, the final episode aired last night and I had been anticipating it all week. I kept wondering which of the last two girls would receive the final rose and would he propose to her. There were things I liked about each of the last two girls, Jenni and DeAnna. I really liked DeAnna's family and I guess I was rooting more for her. However, Brad really seemed happy with Jenni so I thought he would choose her. I was really shocked when Jenni arrived first at the mansion and Brad said good-bye to her. I really thought she was going to be the one! Then DeAnna arrived and I was all prepared for my favorite and most romantic part of the season when he gives out the final rose and possibly proposes marriage. I was shocked when Brad said he didn't love DeAnna and said he had to say good-bye to her. Both girls left the show devastated with broken hearts. They didn't understand how he could make such a choice when he told them both he cared so deeply about them. The final shot of the episode shows Brad with tears in his eyes holding the engagement ring he gave to neither girl. Like I said, I guess I'm so naive about this show and the people on it. I really thought Brad wanted to get married. His twin brother and younger brother are already happily married. He seemed like he genuinely wanted that for himself. I really thought he wanted to get married, just like I thought the other bachelors wanted to in many of the other seasons. Anyway, tonight ABC showed "After the Final Rose" and brought back Brad and both the girls. I had read message boards on the internet regarding the show and several claimed that Brad would actually regret his decision and give a rose to one of the girls. These boards said stuff like "My friend works for ABC and confirmed .." or "My sister went to the taping and knows .." Well, I guess I was still holding out hope that Brad would regret his decision and pick one of the girls. I just finished watching it and that was not the case! DeAnna said she would take Brad back in a heartbeat, but he claimed that he was confident that he made the right decision in choosing neither one. Now I don't know what to think. If he didn't fall in love with either one then why did he seem like he was. Is he just not ready to commit? Does he just want to play the field forever? Is he looking for perfection? I really don't know what to think about this guy. He severely broke these girls' hearts. DeAnna's heart was broken all over again tonight. I guess that strongest thoughts I have are that I am so grateful I found true love with Lloyd. I know marriage isn't perfect, but we are so happy together. It bothered me on the show when Bettina, who is divorced, basically said she expects marriage to be complete bliss. Anyone who is married knows you have to work at a marriage and sometimes it's absolutely wonderful and sometimes it pretty hard. You stick together through the good times and the bad. I am just so happy that after 13 years of marriage, I still feel like I have the "fairy tale ending" Lloyd is my everything and he has brought me more joy that I could have ever thought was possible. Please leave any comments you may have regarding The Bachelor. By the way, my favorite girl this season was Sheena!

A Visit from Grandpa Payne - Happy 75th!

We loved our visit from Grandpa Payne last week. He got to go to with us to a couple soccer games, out to Denny's and Fuddruckers (just opened in Modesto), to Costco (good thing he was there because after spending over $500, we filled 3 shopping carts), to the train museum in Sacramento, and to the temple with Lloyd. While he was here we celebrated his 75th birthday which is actually on November 26. He is in great condition and such a loving and supportive father/grandfather. Thanks for a great visit!

What a special father and Grandpa!

Happy 75th Birthday!

Our Little Guy Is Growing Up

Well, Conner is officially ten months old and it's almost breaking my heart. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast and will soon be turning one and become a toddler. He's already getting into a lot of things like taking the tupperware out of the kitchen cabinets and drawers, knocking over trash cans, ripping up magazines, and eating anything he finds on the floor. He is still such a happy baby. He loves his dad and siblings, but still prefers Mommy since he's still nursing (I told Courtney today he won't want me when he's a teenager so I better enjoy it now). He love to be outside with the rest of the family and got really dirty on Saturday as he crawled around when Lloyd was doing yard work. He says "Dada," "Mama," and "Hi." One of his favorite things to do is rapidly shake his head; it's really cute and funny. I am trying to "eat him up" as much as I can since he's my last baby. I just recently went through all my baby girl clothes to give to my sister. It seems like these kids grow up in the blink of an eye. I feel so very blessed to have five beautiful, healthy children. My friend, Stacey, who loves photography took these pictures of Conner on October 25. Thank you Stacey, for capturing these shots of our little guy!

"Of all the blessings God sends from above, the one most precious is a baby to love."

Ten perfect and tiny little toes -- so kissable!

"Babies are God's proof that the best things do come in small packages!"

"A mother holds her children's hands for awhile ... Their hearts forever."

Update Regarding November 13's Post

I didn't mean to sound negative when I left my "I Can't Wait Until Christmas Vacation" post. I think I was a bit maxed out. Anyway, I just wanted to say things are slowing down and looking better. Last Thursday I got to go to the gym, take a shower and style my hair, do some personal scripture study, and finish my Twilight book (I'll give an update on this when I finish all three). This weekend Courtney's soccer game was cancelled so we got to clean the house and garage. Lloyd and I were so excited to have a Saturday to just stay home and get some things done. At 10 pm we went on a quick date to get some frozen yogurt from the drive thru and drop off some baby stuff at the DI trailer. It's amazing that I can be so grateful for something as simple as taking a shower and doing my hair. It really helps me to feel good!

Our Little "Stars"

The girls have recently had a few opportunities to participate in some performances. First, Courtney performed in our ward's road show on October 27. She had worked very hard with the youth in our ward on their roadshow called "CTR Idol." They did a take off of American Idol where the three judges judged how appropriate media choices were. The theme of the road show was "Take Out the Trash" as in taking out inappropriate influences in our lives. Courtney and our ward's youth did a fabulous job. Courtney had a big smile and cute dance moves as she performed.

Hannah Montana number

"I'll Build You a Rainbow" number

Our Bishopric - The CTR Idol judges

"Throw the Trash Out" Number

This was also a busy event for Lloyd. He was in charge of the roadshows for the stake as part of his calling in the Stake YMs Presidency.

The next day Katelyn and Kylie did the Primary program at church. Kristi was in charge of this one. The Primary children all did a beautiful job and the spirit was really strong. My favorite moment was when they children sang "Love Is Spoken Here." Our Senior Primary boys really shined. I really love serving in the Primary!

The Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation theme was "I'll Follow Him in Faith"

On Friday, November 2 Katelyn was in a Missoula Children's Theater Performance of Robinson Crusoe. She was part of the Frowny-Faced Tribe that had crazy hair and colorful outfits. She did a great job singing and even had one line.

The Robinson Crusoe cast

They were a cute, "scary," tribe!

Today Courtney gave her first official sacrament meeting talk on knowledge. She researched and wrote the talk all by herself. She did an excellent job and received several compliments. Kylie also gave a talk in Primary and spoke about all the things she is grateful for. She is a great reader! It's fun to see these kids really shine!

I Can't Wait Until Christmas Vacation!

As many of you know summer is my very favorite time of the year. I love the warm weather and the water activities you can do. What I especially love is that the kid are out of school and other activities, and the pace of life really slows down. Such has not been the case this fall. I try to make this blog a positive account of all that 's going on in our lives. However, today I just need to put some thoughts in writing and express how I have been feeling. We have been so busy lately -- much too busy. Not to mention that all five of the kids and Lloyd were really sick last week with fevers, bad headaches, and sick stomachs. I often feel overwhelmed, like I'm drowning and can barely keep my head out of the water. I know we haven't had any major catastrophes, but life still seems busy. Whenever I talk to Lloyd about it, he says "We have five kids. Life is going to be busy." I have a bad habit of comparing our family to some of the huge families (they have 14 or even 16 kids) that I see shows about on TLC. I always tell Lloyd, we don't even have a third of the number of kids they have and they seem to have it more together than we do (their kids don't fight, the mom never yells). I feel like I am a capable, intelligent, and organized person. I wonder why I just can't get it together. There are times I really feel like a loser. I have tried to prioritize and let some things go. I have even prayed that the Holy Ghost will give me thoughts on how I need to spend my time. I am discouraged because I haven't had or made the time to do some things that are really important to me. I really want to spend more time doing personal scripture study, but I haven't figured out a way to fit it into my day. Also, last week I only got to the gym once. Anyone who knows me know that's practically unheard of. I often don't have the time to take a shower or thoroughly blow dry and style my hair. I want to have more time with Lloyd which is so hard to do with him working nights and commuting 4 hours a day. Also, I have really been wanting to eat better, but it takes time to prepare healthy food. A lot of times I am forced to eat standing up or on the run. I started making a list of some of the things I've been so busy with. Here are a few examples of how my time is spent: grocery shopping, changing diapers, paying the bills, planning and carrying out Girl Scout meetings, feeding Conner baby food, taking the kids to dance, gymnastics, soccer practice, Activity Days, Mutual, Girl Scouts, and birthday parties, planning sharing time for Primary, attending multiple soccer games every Saturday, helping the kids with their homework and listening to them read, sorting, doing, folding, and putting away mountains of laundry (this one is almost a full time job itself), decorating the house for holidays, driving and picking up the kids from school, making beds, Family Home Evening, buying birthday gifts, taking kids to doctor appointments and picking up their prescriptions, nursing Conner, making dinner, planning and having play group, refereeing the kids' arguments, visiting teaching, picking up toys, vacuuming, family scripture study, bathing the kids, helping with many fundraisers (soccer, school, and Girl Scouts), returning phone calls (this has gotten so bad that we have ran out of space on our answering machine), scrubbing the floor, and I am suppose to do all these things (and more) with two active little boys who are always into something. I did have to laugh today when Cameron locked himself in the bathroom two times and we had to coax him to unlock the door. I have let quite a few things go. Lloyd asked me not to be the Room Mom this year and I'm not volunteering weekly in the classroom. I've had to let some things go around the house like cleaning the bathrooms and dusting. The kids aren't taking piano any more. I haven't been able to finish the book club book, Twilight, I recommended while all my friends are on the second or third book. I am glad I've let some things go, but I need to let go of even more things. I really enjoy life when things aren't so busy. This is why I am really looking forward to Christmas vacation when we get a break from school and other activities. I don't want anyone to misunderstand me or how I feel about my life. I am so very grateful for all that I have been blessed with. I plan on doing a blog later this month about all my blessings. For now I want to mention how grateful I am that I don't have to work outside of the home right now; I really don't know how I would do it. Lloyd is a great husband and father who is making it possible for me to be home right now. I also want to mention a few pick me ups or guilty pleasures I give myself. I have three shows I watch (The Bachelor, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader-Making the Team, and I Want to Look Like a High School Cheerleader Again). I also get to go on a Girls Night Out about once a month. I go scrapbooking about once a month. I try to take a nap every Sunday. I go to Book Club once a month. I go on dates with Lloyd about 2-3 times a month (it's great that Courtney can babysit now). I treat myself to a pedicure every 2-3 months. I always have a diet soda available when I need a quick treat. I am very lucky that Lloyd encourages me to take a break every now and then. Well, writing all this out has helped me to keep things in perspective. I want to end with one of my favorite quotes from a Don't Sweat the Small Stuff daily calendar my mom gave me, "It's pleasant, even peaceful, to run a household, raise children, and deal with life at home when your mind isn't filled up and overwhelmed with thoughts of how you could be doing better." I am going to try to take this advice and focus on what I'm doing right and now what I'm doing wrong.

Halloween Happenings

We had a wonderful Halloween. We really enjoyed the ward party at church. We played a lot of games and the kids got tons of candy at the trunk-or-treating. Everyone enjoyed dressing up and looked really cute!

Courntey - Our Wonder Woman

Katelyn - Our Princess

Kylie - Our Butterfly

Cameron - Our Fireman

Conner - Our Little Bear

Mom and Dad - Our 50's couple