I Can't Wait Until Christmas Vacation!

As many of you know summer is my very favorite time of the year. I love the warm weather and the water activities you can do. What I especially love is that the kid are out of school and other activities, and the pace of life really slows down. Such has not been the case this fall. I try to make this blog a positive account of all that 's going on in our lives. However, today I just need to put some thoughts in writing and express how I have been feeling. We have been so busy lately -- much too busy. Not to mention that all five of the kids and Lloyd were really sick last week with fevers, bad headaches, and sick stomachs. I often feel overwhelmed, like I'm drowning and can barely keep my head out of the water. I know we haven't had any major catastrophes, but life still seems busy. Whenever I talk to Lloyd about it, he says "We have five kids. Life is going to be busy." I have a bad habit of comparing our family to some of the huge families (they have 14 or even 16 kids) that I see shows about on TLC. I always tell Lloyd, we don't even have a third of the number of kids they have and they seem to have it more together than we do (their kids don't fight, the mom never yells). I feel like I am a capable, intelligent, and organized person. I wonder why I just can't get it together. There are times I really feel like a loser. I have tried to prioritize and let some things go. I have even prayed that the Holy Ghost will give me thoughts on how I need to spend my time. I am discouraged because I haven't had or made the time to do some things that are really important to me. I really want to spend more time doing personal scripture study, but I haven't figured out a way to fit it into my day. Also, last week I only got to the gym once. Anyone who knows me know that's practically unheard of. I often don't have the time to take a shower or thoroughly blow dry and style my hair. I want to have more time with Lloyd which is so hard to do with him working nights and commuting 4 hours a day. Also, I have really been wanting to eat better, but it takes time to prepare healthy food. A lot of times I am forced to eat standing up or on the run. I started making a list of some of the things I've been so busy with. Here are a few examples of how my time is spent: grocery shopping, changing diapers, paying the bills, planning and carrying out Girl Scout meetings, feeding Conner baby food, taking the kids to dance, gymnastics, soccer practice, Activity Days, Mutual, Girl Scouts, and birthday parties, planning sharing time for Primary, attending multiple soccer games every Saturday, helping the kids with their homework and listening to them read, sorting, doing, folding, and putting away mountains of laundry (this one is almost a full time job itself), decorating the house for holidays, driving and picking up the kids from school, making beds, Family Home Evening, buying birthday gifts, taking kids to doctor appointments and picking up their prescriptions, nursing Conner, making dinner, planning and having play group, refereeing the kids' arguments, visiting teaching, picking up toys, vacuuming, family scripture study, bathing the kids, helping with many fundraisers (soccer, school, and Girl Scouts), returning phone calls (this has gotten so bad that we have ran out of space on our answering machine), scrubbing the floor, and I am suppose to do all these things (and more) with two active little boys who are always into something. I did have to laugh today when Cameron locked himself in the bathroom two times and we had to coax him to unlock the door. I have let quite a few things go. Lloyd asked me not to be the Room Mom this year and I'm not volunteering weekly in the classroom. I've had to let some things go around the house like cleaning the bathrooms and dusting. The kids aren't taking piano any more. I haven't been able to finish the book club book, Twilight, I recommended while all my friends are on the second or third book. I am glad I've let some things go, but I need to let go of even more things. I really enjoy life when things aren't so busy. This is why I am really looking forward to Christmas vacation when we get a break from school and other activities. I don't want anyone to misunderstand me or how I feel about my life. I am so very grateful for all that I have been blessed with. I plan on doing a blog later this month about all my blessings. For now I want to mention how grateful I am that I don't have to work outside of the home right now; I really don't know how I would do it. Lloyd is a great husband and father who is making it possible for me to be home right now. I also want to mention a few pick me ups or guilty pleasures I give myself. I have three shows I watch (The Bachelor, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader-Making the Team, and I Want to Look Like a High School Cheerleader Again). I also get to go on a Girls Night Out about once a month. I go scrapbooking about once a month. I try to take a nap every Sunday. I go to Book Club once a month. I go on dates with Lloyd about 2-3 times a month (it's great that Courtney can babysit now). I treat myself to a pedicure every 2-3 months. I always have a diet soda available when I need a quick treat. I am very lucky that Lloyd encourages me to take a break every now and then. Well, writing all this out has helped me to keep things in perspective. I want to end with one of my favorite quotes from a Don't Sweat the Small Stuff daily calendar my mom gave me, "It's pleasant, even peaceful, to run a household, raise children, and deal with life at home when your mind isn't filled up and overwhelmed with thoughts of how you could be doing better." I am going to try to take this advice and focus on what I'm doing right and now what I'm doing wrong.