Motherhood

I have been wanting to do this post for a while, but am just now getting to it. Since today is Mother's Day, I guess it is especially appropriate. I have realized Motherhood is hard! I have always wanted to be a mother from the time I was a little girl. I've always loved children. I babysat a lot as a teenager and even chose to become an elementary school teacher. I guess I assumed motherhood would come naturally to me. Well, after almost 13 years of being a Mom and with five kids, I think being a mother is the toughest job in the world. There are so many things that make this job hard. First of all, our kids do not come with instruction manuals or recipes to follow in order to properly care for them. And even when we find something that works for one kid, it usually doesn't work for another. There is a lot of trial and error in motherhood. I feel I am constantly making mistakes and am amazed by any small success I do have. Another one of the hardest things about motherhood is the guilt that come with it. I don't have enough time and energy to do everything I would like to do for my kids. I feel worried that I am neglecting this child. I am discouraged when I lose my patience with another. I am disappointed in myself when I don't even want to be around my kids and sometimes even lock myself in my bedroom just to be alone. I wonder am I teaching them enough, am I being a good example, am I making sure they feel loved. Am I too hard or too easy on them? Do I play with them enough? Do I let my kids watch too much TV? Am I giving them opportunities to develop their talents or am I signing them up for too many activities? Should I use my energy to clean the house or should I let it go more often? Am I controlling them too much or am I letting them make their own decisions? Also, I feel guilty because amidst all the craziness and chaos of motherhood, it is important to live in the moment and enjoy this season because little children grow up so quickly. Sometimes you just want to get through the day! Another thing that makes motherhood hard is that we tend to compare ourselves with other moms. I sometimes wonder is it terrible that I don't sew my kids Halloween costumes when another mom does. Am I terrible when I yell at my kids and another mom always seems so calm. What about the mom who always has her hair and make up done and gets her kids to school early so they can read books together in the library (I am describing a real mom who has 5 kids and she's also thin)? I guess you can tell from this post that I have been really struggling with motherhood. With Lloyd working nights and commuting almost 4 hours a day, I do feel like a single mom a lot. I wish I was better at it!

Well, I have a couple things that have helped me with my struggles. First, I saw this quote on a plaque and I try to remember it when I start comparing myself to other moms: "There is no way to be a perfect mother ... ...but a million ways to be a good one." Also, I felt like Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk at the last General Conference was an answer to my prayers and it left me in tears. Like the quote above, he reminds young mothers: "There is no perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children." He also helped me to remember how important it is for me to take my challenges and concerns to the Lord in prayer. He states: "Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, 'We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.' " He emphasizes the fact that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and successful with our families. This talk has blessed me.

Of course, a great way to deal with the stress of motherhood is to have a sense of humor about it. A lot of you have probably already seen the William Tell Overture song performed by Anita Renfroe. The link to it is below and it's fun to watch it again. It is so true and so funny!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IGoelj7l668

I think gratitude is another way to deal with the stress of motherhood. I read the poem below on Laura's blog and I saved a copy of it. I typed it up to use in Conner's scrapbook. I love how sweet it is and it reminds me of the joy of motherhood:

The Little Things...
The work undone, the beds unmade,
The floor unswept, the meal delayed,
My food is growing cold,
The laundry I have yet to fold.
“I’m hungry, Mom,” the children say,
A thousand and one times a day.
And “Mommy will you read to me?” And “Mom, why can’t I watch TV?”
And “Mommy, hold me on your knee.”
And “Quickly Mom, I have to pee!”

Then finally everything is set.
The children’s needs have all been met,
And I can really sink my teeth
Into 1`my work with great relief.
Another sound. “Oh Dear,” I sigh—
My newborn son’s plaintive cry.
Now I must sit amidst debris
And nurse this infant quietly,
And dream of who I’d rather be, Disdaining mediocrity.

But as this angel snuggles in
And I caress his silken skin
And meditate on beauty here,
This tiny hand, this perfect ear
This life, this love, this holiness
I can forget about the mess
And know with utter clarity
My life is rich as rich can be.

I wonder when I’m old and gray,
Will I look back upon today
And wish I’d been a better Mom
By getting all the housework done?
I’d much prefer a memory
Of children smiling up at me,
Of walks and hugs and moments shared
Of taking time to show I cared.

Author Unknown

I want to emphasize that I am very grateful to be a mother. I adore my five children and the joy they bring me. I think motherhood is the "toughest job you'll ever love." I am thankful for the encouragement and support I receive from my friends who are also mothers of young children. I hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day. My Mother's Day came early this year with a facial last Monday and the scrapbook get away this past weekend. My children gave me lots of homemade gifts today from a coupon book, to a card with a stick of gum and candy taped to it, and an old necklace one of my girl's doesn't want any more. I got a lot of hugs and a lot of love. No one complained when I asked them to help either. What a treat! I felt very special today. I am so very blessed!