Three Year Old Boy for Sale!

Please consider purchasing a three year old boy named Cameron Payne. We will accept offers from the top bidder or name your own price! Listed below are the warnings that accompany this purchase. We have tried to disclose all information we have and give you a fair warning. However, we cannot be responsible for future mishaps that may occur with this purchase.

• has required the rental of a carpet cleaner several times for dumping various items on the carpet, including an entire bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup, cookie dough, popsicles, ice cream, etc. We did have a fridge lock for a while, but he figured out how to unlock it. Last Tuesday he cracked a dozen raw eggs on the living room carpet. (We should just buy a carpet cleaner.)


• no longer requires afternoon naps, will go to bed around 7:00-8:00 and has been known to wake up around 5:45, has been known to take mattress off of his bed while he should be taking a nap, has broken a square hole in his bedroom blinds so he can peek out of window, will often get in bed with and wake up his baby brother.

The "peek" hole in the blinds

• loves to sneak in the minivan to play with buttons, radio, and eat all of mom's gum, put 56 pennies in car radio and we needed to get another one, bless the Honda dealers who got this for us free of charge, last week both he and his brother got in the van--I found one-year-old Conner with a mouthful of gum.


• loves to stick items in the VCR including toys, Hershey kisses, grilled cheese sandwich, etc., last week he found a sharpie (usually hidden very carefully) and scribbled all over the fridge.


• found Daddy's razor during his sister's birthday party and tried to shave, resulting in a bit of a bloody mess


• has been known to bite his siblings, friends at play group, and even other children at the gym; has been suspended from the gym childcare and had to miss a friend's birthday party due to his biting.


• is mostly loving to his baby brother, but did cut both sides of his lower cheeks by cutting them with a pair of scissors, also tackles his brother at times.


• found an iron not plugged in upstairs, plugged it in and burned some of the carpet and his hand.


• his newest trick is playing with the kitchen sink faucet that can spray water, he loves to give the kitchen counters and our window a squirting down.

Well, there you go! Anyone interested in making a bid? Here are a few positives that may come from this purchase:

• Cameron is a happy and loving boy. He does love to please when he can. This week he started saying, "I'm going to be a great boy!" Sometimes he asks, "Are you happy, Mommy?"


• He will be calm when he has his milk and his nigh-night. He also likes to be read to. He likes to watch Dora, Diego, and Thomas the train.


• Trains are his very favorite, but he also likes fire trucks and motorcycles.


• He has a twinkle in his eye and a very sweet, but sometimes devilish smile.

Well, as you all know Cameron is not really for sale, but I wouldn't mind if he went on a vacation for a while. He keeps our life interesting; I'm constantly wondering what he'll be up to next. We're hoping Conner is a little less "spirited." I am reading a book to help me cope with Cameron called The Spirited Child. Many of us have been blessed with a spirited child who teach us patience, tolerance, and unconditional love. The Lord knows what He's doing when he blesses us with these spirits. I believe I was intended to be Cameron's mother and pray for the patience to teach and love him.